Don"t Throw Your Pearls Before Swine

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Several months after my puppy dog Grace had been weaned, my children and I took her back to speak with the breeder and to visit her mother Sweet Pea.
My dog was so excited to see her mother.
She jumped all over her and licked her and did whatever she could to get her attention.
As it turned out, Sweet Pea could not be bothered.
She didn't acknowledge Grace in any way, shape or form.
This behavior rather alarmed my young children; they weren't expecting Grace to be ignored by her own mother.
This unfortunate relationship reminded me of so many I have known, some personally and some professionally, involving my clients.
I remember a relationship where I was being treated unkindly, but rather than rock the boat, I said nothing, and I grew resentful.
Then the negative experiences in the relationship reached a critical mass, I could no longer ignore the meanness.
Although I remember crying hysterically, the quiet observer inside of me felt a distinct clarity, without question I knew it was time to pack up my pearls, go home and never ever come back.
Spiritually, when we think of going home, we are talking about going back to center, for some this means going back to God.
Going home is a healing journey, it is about returning to truth.
When I was involved with people who were mean and disrespectful to me, I wasn't honoring my truth.
Moreover, these people were taking up a space in my life, along with energy and attention that might be used to share my pearls with others who would appreciate my gifts and might even encourage me to add pearls to my existing necklace.
Some people wonder why they don't have loving and supportive people in their lives.
Many times these people are courting people that will never understand them or appreciate them.
Who knows the reason why and really, who should care? Really we should thank these people.
These rejecters are our teachers.
They can help us get so uncomfortable that we are forced to take action.
Bless them and move on.
Maybe we will find another church community, another primary relationship, another spiritual path.
We certainly don't want to jump out of relationships at the slightest provocation; however, if we are being rejected, abandoned and treated poorly by a key person or group in our life, we are wasting our gifts by pursuing the Sweet Peas in life.
We may choose some limited contact or we may choose to just give up that they will ever appreciate us.
The practice of just giving up on receiving any kind of acknowledgment or approbation from these people can be a very liberating spiritual practice.
Certainly, it is demeaning to beg for someone's love.
As we grow older we find people either love us and appreciate us or they just don't.
If we really love ourselves, we seek to surround ourselves with those who love, respect and appreciate us.
Some people will have a session with me and say, "Why couldn't my mother love me?" To which I answer, "She couldn't love herself.
But you are lovable.
Her shortcomings or mental health challenges have nothing to do with your inherent worth.
Stop the cycle.
Find healing mother archetypes in your environment.
Acknowledge your worth.
" Don't waste your energy and throw away joy trying to make someone love you if they don't.
Some may see these aforementioned practices and perceptions as radical.
Embracing and honoring one's true self has always been radical business.
However, to spend your life as a martyr in the presence of those who are mistreating you is not healthy.
In order to start to create more healthy relationship patterning, start appreciating yourself.
Follow your passion and don't check in with them for their feedback~you probably already know what it is (hint:whatever it is, it isn't supportive).
Take your pearls and go home.

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